Friday, 22 October 2010

Guest Review: Facegoop Tries YSL Teint Radiance

Disclosure: PR sample

M: So, E.

E: What, M?

M: What do we look for in a foundation?

E: We wish it to make us look like Christy Turlington. And attract owls. That's very important.

M: Erm. Riiiiight. Can we deconstruct Christy Turlington's face please? I feel it's important to understand the individual components.

E: Uh. Dewy. Perfect. Smooth. Nice shape. But don't forget the owls.

M: Of course, E. Owls are good. OWLS ARE ACE.

E: Yes. My foundation better fucking attract owls or I want my money back. Why do you ask?

M: Well, I've been asked to review this foundation for London Beauty Review.

E: Oh?

M: It's YSL. TEINT RADIANCE, it is called.

E: YSL. Hmm. I had a bad experience with them back in 1994.

M: Oh yes?

E: They said I was autumn and made me wear orange lipstick.

M: Oh god. How can you be a season? HOW? (and why would autumn wear orange?)

E: Dunno. Like a pumpkin maybe? Do you think they've mended their ways, M?

M: I don't know. Back in the nineties I had this sort of base product, which was just sort of vaguely pink and did nothing.

E: Sounds... rubbish.

M: Here's what they have to say about this though:

"Just like an Yves Saint Laurent dinner jacket in the closet, TEINT RADIANCE is the classic indisputable foundation in your make up bag".

E: Ha. Like le SMOKING? For le face? Wow.

M: Yes. It is supposed to be le SMOKING of the foundation world. I am not adding the capitalization, by the way. That is all them.

E: D'ACCORD. Does your face have shiny lapels? Does it look like Bianca Jagger?

M: Ssssh.Do you want to know the secret of its effectiveness?


M: "the transparent mineral particles that reflect the light and the dual-reflecting pigments that sculpt the light ad shade of your face to enhance its glow". Eh?

E: I've read that three times, I still don't understand it.

M: Nope. Nada. Zilch.

E: what is "dual-reflecting"?

M: Reflects both ways? like... erm. A double faced mirror?

E: Oh, like in a line up in The Bill. Ok. It almost makes me nostalgic for the orange lipstick/pink goop that does nothing days.

M: I don't know. TEINT RADIANCE makes no sense. BUT.

E: Mmm?

M: I actually quite like this. Well, I hate the rather strong smell. And the sample I was sent was a bit too light.

E: So far so .. crap.

M: But my skin feels... naked. And smooth. And dare I say it, RADIANT.

E: LORDY. Well. That's impressive.

M: Yes! I am touching my face, and I can't feel anything. It's just a shame it smells like a grandmother. One of those antique french ones who lives in the 16th arrondissement.

E: Oh, I like that smell. Eau de mamie. What is the colour range like?

M: Hold on, let me check (I am clicking on the bit that says" DEVOTE YOUR FACE TO THE GLOW!). Oh, I get it now. This is the Touche Eclat of the foundation world. Why don't they just say that?

E: Aha. Ze ways of YSL zey are mysterious.

M: Well, the colour range is not bad... if you're somewhere between sickly marble white and mildly coloured.

E: Ok. Le Smoking Pour Le Face. We like?

M: I think so. You know, this is one I might just have to go and try for myself. I may even like it more than gasp! Mr Armani's foundation.

E: NOOOOOOOOOOO (ducks in fear of attack from lizard empire).

M: (Makes goat offerings to the lizard king).

If you liked that, you'll find more Facegoop at their truly excellent blog.  If you'd like to try YSL's Teint Radiance for yourself, it's available now at all YSL stockists, including Boots, where it will cost £28 for 30ml.

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