Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Guest Review: Facegoop Tries SheerCover Mineral Makeup

Disclosure:  This product was sent to us for consideration by PR.

The lovely Madevi of Facegoop very kindly reviewed this SheerCover set, which we were sent in too dark a colour for either of our pasty skins.  If you've not read Facegoop before, you definitely should - it's a beauty blog with a twist and one of our favourite sites of the moment.  Read on to find out what Madevi (and her partner-in-blogging E) made of SheerCover.

M: The nice girls at London Beauty Review have sent me this Sheer Cover kit to review, because I am dark(ish) and they are not. Certainly dark of soul.

E: And dark of brain. So, what is the powder?

M: Be patient, young jedi. To do it full justice, I would like to do this review in the style of a nerdy Apple fanboy unboxing video. Except, without the video. Because it's Easter Monday and I am typing this from the comfort of my bed. First, we have the plain white box.

E: I see. So far, so boring.

M: Inside the box you will find an ominous looking shiny black pouch thing, that is very difficult to photograph.

E: Bad glare?

M: Bad. Very bad. It is the Darth Vader of pouches.


M: PATIENCE. Inside the box there is a DVD, and a little booklet, in which some terrifyingly smily American lady tries to be your FRIEND.

E: "Dear friend" it says. Even though she has never met you, and if she did, she would be scared witless.

M: Nope. Neither she, nor her perfect teeth, nor her head full of highlights have ever come near your craggy, pitted face, but still, she wants to hold you close to her perfectly formed bosom. What is more, she has supplied us with this DVD, that gently coaxes you to JETZT ANSEHEN!!

E: Bitte schön, können sie in englisch sprechen?

M: Dude, if someone asks you to jetzt ansehen, you jetzt anseh. And that is just what I did.

E: And????

M: In the Sheer Cover "Tips & Tricks" DVD (tricks - snicker), two fiendleshly pretty women tell normal (dowdy) women how to make the most of their looks.You know they are experts because they are both standing up, while the lucky lady (victim) has to sit in a chair, flanked by these two smiling monsters.

E: Wow. It's Like an alien experiment.

M: YES. Exactly like that. With less anal probing.

E: The cosmetic industry-alien alliance continues. Hmm, now I am looking at those brushes in a different light.

M: Anyway, there is a whole hour of this. I zoned out after about 10 mns, which is just what they want, I suspect. The gist of it is: wear Sheer Cover products. Even a village idiot could manage it, and it will make you pretty.

E: So? Did you try it???

M: Yes. Yes I did. Inside the pouch you will find a primer, concealer, two shades of mineral powder, a mascara, a colour palette, one concealer brush, and one powder brush.

M: It's a bit too dark for me just now, but would probably be fine in the summer. But here are my highly scientific, entirely objective observations:

1. The brush is scratchy. Not Bare Minerals scratchy, but scratchy. It's a bit like rubbing a twig covered badger on your face.

E: Ouch.

M: 2. I was scared of the primer, because as has been well documented elswehere, I have Angry Monkey Face syndrome. This is just a lot of silicone squeezed into a tube. I will wash it off the first chance I get.

3. The powder itself is OK. Not freakishly shiny, and it blends nicely.

4. I hate the palette full of tiny circles of colour. I HATE IT.

E: Why? What's it for, anyway?

M: It's supposed to be multi purpose colour for your face or something, but half of them are for your lips and half for your eyes, and it only comes with one tiny useless brush.

E: And they are not good?

M: No, they are crap. Also, because I AM a village idiot, I ended up putting lip stuff on my eyelid, and it was sticky.

E: The DVD ladies would be ashamed of you.

M: Yes, they would put me into the Sheer cover Dunce corner. The colours also have this frosty, robotic quality to them and I do not want to be a robot.

E: Pfff. Where is your sense of adventure, M?

M: I left it in Boots. 5. The mascara is actually very good. It's not clumpy, it lengthens and adds volume. It feels quite heavy though. Like someone has coated your lashes in gum.

E: Hmm. You need to develop stronger eyelid muscles.

M: I need to do eyelid pilates.

E: So, overall what's your verdict?

M: My verdict: lots of products, lots of information, but I found it all a bit overwhelming. Then again I find combing my hair overwhelming at the moment.

E: And the basic product?

M: Bof. I wouldn't use it. Overwhelming in the box, underwhelming on your face.

E: So, are we saying a paltry 8/20?

M: Yup. Sheer Cover, you've failed the Facegoop test. Even if you are from space, and will probably come to get us in the night for your nefarious powdery experiments.


Grace London said...

Well, at least it doesn't sound like it does the Data from Star Trek thing that Bare Minerals did on me.

I do love the Facegoop ladies.

Kellie Hill said...

What a brilliant review. Loved it, it made me laugh like a drain, I swear I snorted at one point.

Thanks for that x x x


M. said...

Awww, thanks girls.
Data from Star Trek! That's spot on. Stupid sparkly Bare Minerals.

SilhouetteScreams said...

LOL BEST REVIEW EVAR. Totally going to check out Facegoop now!

Imo, indie mineral makeup companies > big time MMU companies

Alison Cross said...

Look! You have branched out into guest reviews!! FABLAS!

You DO know that you are both single-handedly dismantling the cosmetics industry product by product, don't you.

And that's why we LURV you, Face Goop :-)

Ali x

mindfulmama said...

The best review Ive read in a long time! Well done! *applause*

Primp and Preen said...

So funny, love it!

Emily said...

Oh Facegoop makes me chuckle so much :D

Lisa-Marie said...

Ladies, you are guest of honour posting! I had a try of Bare Minerals this week (I blame you both). The lady at the counter tried to tell me I was 'peach'. I can assure you, I am casper coloured.

I dislike scratch brushes, but I like the shiny bag. I am a sucker for packaging!

Anonymous said...

What kind of review is this anyway?! It doesn't sound like a review that can be counted on because it doesn't sound like a serious review at all!

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